Saturday, 2 November 2013

Giving myself a firm talking to ...........

I don't know whether it's just a stage I'm going through, but today I feel as though all the hard work we are doing is never going to stop and that our property is never going to look the way we want it to.

Yesterday, I explained my mixed feelings about learning Turkish. How on some days I am bouncing with confidence that I am finally cracking it and that other days I feel it is totally beyond my capabilities. Well today I have ambivalent feelings about what we are doing in the garden.

As I have posted many times before, when we bought our property it was a new build with the land around it being much the same as the mountain side, complete with the boulders and large rocks. The only attempt at making it look like a garden was that somebody - presumably the builder - had planted three Oleander bushes,a small palm tree and a thorny thing.

This spring we had the front garden looking fairly good, having laid membrane and stones around the pool patio and planted some tubs with pretty flowers. Since May we have been working in the back garden trying to bring my idea of making a courtyard garden into fruition. But this has meant a lot of building work and although we have done a lot, there is still an awful lot to do.

In the meantime, the front garden has deteriorated through neglect, as has the house and at the moment the whole place looks like a cross between a builders yard and a gypsy encampment. It's very difficult to keep on top of maintaining what we have already done and moving forward with the rest. I am just hoping that we are going through the stage of it looking worse before it gets better, and that suddenly it will all start to come together.

Because we have both been so busy, the poor dogs have not had much attention lately, so they are all totally over the top. Big Red can open all the doors so we have to remember to lock the living room door if we are not around or she is off upstairs to ransack the bedrooms. She jumps all over our bed and takes my slippers away plus any other clothes she can find. So you suddenly see your jumper or some other item of clothing in the middle of the front garden, by which time it has been dragged around and needs to be washed again.

We still have two houses being built on the land in front of our house so from early in the morning until sunset there are builders constantly working and making lots of noise which in turn makes the dogs bark, so I have to keep coming round to shut them up. At the moment I feel like I am paying for working outside by all I have to put right when I come back inside!

I am fed up with constantly feeling dirty, with having broken grubby fingernails and being tired. I am fed up with piles of sand and piles of bricks and piles of stones and piles of earth everywhere.I think the reality is that what we are trying to achieve is really a job for a team of builders, not two retired fogies! Maybe we need to have a load of  people over for a working holiday to help us move forward a bit quicker.

Also I feel guilty. I feel guilty for feeling this way right now, because I know so many people who would give their eye teeth to have what we have and to be living in Turkey all year round. I absolutely have no regrets about that. There is nowhere I would rather be.

Outdoor sofa finished, and painting begun 2nd November
On the plus side the outdoor sofa has finally been finished and today David has started to paint the concrete, and to build the raised beds on the other side of it. I have finished filling the raised beds we have already done ready for planting and weather permitting that half of the courtyard garden could be finished within the next week or two. Also whilst looking for this picture I came across this photograph which was taken on 25th October which is only 8 days ago, so we are moving forward for sure.

8 days previously - shows we are moving forward
So I think I need to stop for today, have a glass or two of vino, give myself a firm talking to and wake up tomorrow with a more constructive mindset to crack on and get it done. Then we can start to really enjoy our time in this wonderful country.


  1. Oh I do know exactly how you feel Jacquie. We are constantly trying to make this old house habitable. It's never-ending. There are so many problems, the worst one being damp and it's a mammoth task trying to deal with it. My husband works all summer so is never here, then there's a rush to get urgent things done before the rain comes. This is our 5th winter in this house and we still haven't cracked it. Sometimes I feel we have no actual real life together. But I have now decided that as rain is forecast for Tuesday, work will be forced to a standstill, so instead of sitting inside worrying about it, we will get in the truck and go out somewhere. Just need a change of scenery.

    Like you, I do also feel guilty because we are lucky to live in a beautiful place, and although we struggle we do have more than a lot of people.

  2. It's always a comfort to know you're not the only one in a muddle Ayak. Thank you. That is why we are cracking on so hard with our work, because we are very aware that soon the weather will change, and we will have to abandon work outside. I agree there is great merit in taking time out to go somewhere different it definitely recharges the batteries. I think we are overdue doing just that and that may be some of why I am feeling this way right now.